I’ve always been a feminist. It’s true since I was five and couldn’t spell the word. I believe I was born this way. My parents never told me I couldn’t do something and for that I’m eternally grateful. I went to a great co-ed high school with friends that always encouraged me to be true to myself. I went to a women’s college where I held leadership positions and by doing so learned of the importance of servant leadership and of friendship. As an adult woman, I have had the privilege to serve my community in so many unbelievable ways and have made so many amazing life long friendships. I tell you all of this not to boast but because I see how women struggle in school, in society, in the workplace, in life. Beginning in high school and now as an adult I have struggled with many things myself. One obstacle I’ve always stumbled with is how “busy I am”. In fairness I love a full calendar. I thrive off of it. But not everyone does and as I reflect (in full transparency today is my 35th birthday, I’m not usually this introspective) I’ve realized especially in this last year that everyone is busy, it’s just different kinds of busy.
What now really gets under my skin is the competition of who is busier. It’s destructive for us as women to compete against each other for “who is busier award”. News Flash… we are all busy. I had friend (a) tell friend (b) that she didn’t know what busy was because she didn’t have children. As friend (b) was telling me this story, you could see the pain in her eyes because it isn’t like she didn’t want or hadn’t tried to have kids, it just didn’t happen. She is now a big deal at a major corporation and does more volunteer work than anyone I know. She is BUSY… but this story keeps rattling around in my head. I’m sure friend (a) has no idea the pain she inflicted on friend (b). I know as a mom of two that friend (a) probably was just having a bad day and didn’t think about how her words would impact friend (b). We’ve all said things we regret. I can’t judge friend (a) but it serves as a reminder to me every time I want to complain about being “busy”. We are all busy, its just all different kinds of busy.
So please stop before the holidays start and we all get “so busy” leave your “busy competition” at the door. I was on the busy train for a long time and have gotten off. When people say, oh you’re so busy I try to always say “so are you” or something along those lines. We all have struggles, successes, announcements, and loves. Lets be each other’s best advocate. Let’s make a pack not to get in a busy competition this holiday season, instead lets enjoy the holidays and each other!!
OK — no more deep in the mud posts for another year 🙂
Dashing – xoxxo